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Thursday, December 12th, 2002
9:26 pm
Before I jump too deeply into any rambling that I have to do, let me say Happy belated Birthday, Emmy. I'm too lazy for linkies. You know who you are. :-* I know, I know. I officially suck for being a whole two days late with this. I'm a bad friend. You should fire me. 'Cept not really, okay?
Anyway, I hope that you did manage to get out and have a heck of a time before the obligatory birthday blues set in. Yes, I said heck. Love you.

Okay. So time for the nonsensical randomness that is my life. I've actually been working. Imagine that.
Being that it's the holiday season and all, I've also been at my mother's house spending time with my family. Feels weird at this point. Makes me regress. I'm used to my newly acquired independence and my night owl habits. Being back there forces me back into this mold that doesn't fit anymore. My mom has been treating me like we don't see each other once a week for lunch. And my dad...well he's just been dad. Spending many a day in his tacky recliner with football and a hand firmly implanted down his hands. :-x Dear old dad.

And that's my boring life.
Now do you see why I never update, Emmy?

current mood: awake
| disclaimer | 8 tried to | tame me |
Thursday, October 17th, 2002
8:41 pm - Good girls don't...but I do.
Could today have gone any better? look at me trying to post on a regular basis Okay, well probably. I did stub my toe this morning. And I managed to fall out of my bed when the phone rang at 8:30. Thanks, momma. You know how I do love to be woken up early for no real reason at all. No, calling to tell me that the neighbor's dog peed in your garden is not a reason, kthanks.

But morning mishaps aside, today has been great. My boy and I had a picnic planned and really could he be any effin cuter? He made these sandwiches and a big ole pitcher of koolaid. I didn't think that boys really did these things. I thought that they existed solely to break hearts and speak to my breasts. Oh. And to form boy bands.
The weather cooperated for all of 15 minutes, of course. Then the sky opened up on us. Big surprise. Sounds like a huge downer, but somehow I managed to get him to play in the wet grass with me though. I happen to love the rain. And now, he does too. ;) purr.

Then he took me back to his place for ice cream, a warm bath with bubbles that smelled like heaven and a massage. And hot cocoa with marshmallows. sigh okay. I made him watch On the

My god how great is it that the villain on the Powerpuff Girls right now is a femnazi? Eep. And now they are, too. This is just too cute. No. I can't take it. hee
ignore that I am watching this instead of Friends and Scrubs okay

And now I'm going to go get cute so I can go out with the girls tonight. After the Powerpuff Girls, of course. Emmy, I'm heading up your way soon. Really this time okay.

current mood: ditzy
| disclaimer | 5 tried to | tame me |
Wednesday, October 16th, 2002
11:41 pm - so please baby, try and use me for what I'm good for...
So, after much pestering from Emmy, I am updating. :) Apparently, the only way that my friends get to know what's going on with me is through this thing. And I am almost certain that this will be a disappointment of an entry, but I'll see what I can do ya for.
oh please, I am pure hee haw, okay. we say these things 'round these here parts. and yes, I'm barefoot. always.
< /silliness >

I would love to say that the reason that I haven't been around is because I've been all uber-busy and what have you, but no, I haven't been. I'm also fantasizing over the idea of saying that I've been hiding away from the world maybe, but I am too much of a nerd to pull off the whole emo thing. :) So I can be honest and say that really, I've done nothing but hole myself up with my boy, making memories. Period. It's just all been so gravy.

Haven't been working much at all. Only mildly depressing. There is something absolutely refreshing about waking up and not having to give a damn about my hair, my clothes, my anything. Yes, I am a closet scrub. *hides face*

Um I realize that I have nothing great to say. Not that it matters, simply because LJ is a pure hater and eats every one of my posts. *saves to MS Word* How evil. Really, posting is discouraging when you know for a fact that your post will never make it through the final cut. You'd think that I could afford a paid account, but I refuse to get all involved with the PayPal thing or else I'd live on EBay. And no, this is not me whoring myself out for a paid account...not a whole lot, anyway. ;)

effin lj, please don't make me try to post this 12 times please?</small

current mood: awake
| disclaimer | 7 tried to | tame me |
Wednesday, September 25th, 2002
4:18 pm - LJ should die.
Like yesterday.

I just tried to write an entry and it got eaten. Not that it matters because no one reads my entries anyway. *sob*
| disclaimer | 3 tried to | tame me |
Monday, September 23rd, 2002
7:16 pm
I didn't die though I feel like I should any time soon.
So. Effin'. Sick. Bleh.

There's an upside. My new boy type person is all about taking care of me. He has god-like hands and comes bearing soup and snuggles. I want him to just live in my bed with me until I feel better. But I guess it's good that he can't. Who else is going to make me eat and feed my kitty while I'm bedridden? Um he still thinks that I'm beautiful even when I'm all stuffy with puffy eyes and a scratchy voice. le SIGH already.
Okay. I'm crawling back into my bed now. Mmmmm bed...

current mood: sick
| disclaimer | 2 tried to | tame me |
Sunday, September 8th, 2002
12:05 am - le sigh
So the guy that I didn't want to talk about for fear of jinxing?
Um hi. He likes me.
This all makes me feel like a 15 year old girl, all high from her very first kiss. I'm sure that I am reacting in an overly silly way. Screw it. I like it. I love it. I want to float like this forever. I'm on a crush injected cloud with not a silver but a gold lining and living here would be perfection.
We talk on the phone for hours about nothing. He's like a best girlfriend except not. Neither of us sleep anymore because we spend those wee hours where I'm usually curled up in bed with my kitty, together. Just making memories.
We're not even a couple. I'm just talking like we are. Just letting things follow nature's intended course. I don't want to be pushy. Right now we're just friends or maybe a little something more. Friends who kiss. A lot. And while we're talking about it, he just might be the best kisser in the whole wide world. Eek. I am being SUCH a girl.
And I have convinced him to come out and play. Remember when you were in junior high? And you'd steal moments under the bleachers after a school dance and it was a huge deal? Or when you found yourself at someone's house alone, on the couch nervously watching tv? Then the girl would turn to the boy with a mischievous gleam in her eye and whisper, "My mom won't be home for an hour. Wanna make out?" And that was simultaneously naughty and the greatest feeling on the planet? Hrm, maybe that was just me. :D
Anyway. He's coming over and it feels like that. I feel excited and giddy and nervous all at the same time and sigh.
I'll stop. No one wants to hear me blabber like a schoolgirl. Heck, I don't even wanna hear it. Besides. Like I said; no jinxing!

Work has got me tired like nothing else. Don't make fun. There is nothing glamorous about a photo shoot. People shouting at you from every direction. Pretentious photographers telling you crap like, "Make love to the camera. You are sex...yes you are sex! No, not like that! Pout for me Kimmie...you are like a wonton woman begging for it..." Okay so I made up that last one. But you get the point.
Sucking in this, tucking that. Taping here, putting powder there. Unnatural poses. Circulation being cut off. Being told that you're beautiful and blessed only to have it all airbrushed away. I feel like a My Size Barbie sometimes. It really can be degrading.
But somehow I like my job. I must be some kind of masochist.

current mood: anxious
| disclaimer | 2 tried to | tame me |
Tuesday, September 3rd, 2002
11:03 am - not that anyone reads these...
But I thought that I'd post anyway. :)

I'm sitting here wondering why I'm so hung up on whether anyone reads these or not. I mean, it's my journal and it's not about that anyway. This is here for me to vent. To feel things and let them pour out onto a page so that my soul is unburdened enough for me to eventually sleep.
But some small part of me wants to be reassured. Sometimes I'd like to know if anyone cares about the way that I feel.

This is the worst part of moving out on my own, you know? Not having someone there who constantly cares. I feel so very needy and this may seem pathetic. I feel like maybe modeling feeds into this. It's not a real job. It's an occupation where all you have to worry about is how pretty you look. Everyone is there solely for you. I go to a shoot and there are dozens of people milling around, with nothing to bother with beyond you and your needs. This has spoiled me, maybe. I don't remember being this way. I'm not sure that I like it.

I miss my mother. sigh. But I don't really want to call her and tell her that. I'm trying to act like a big girl when I'm much too young to try. I am not cut out for this. Not yet. Meh. I sure don't miss the rules :) and her sometimes overbearing ways. But I miss the girl talk. I miss the unasked for baurty tips. And mostly I miss the security and the hugs that only moms can give.

I did meet a boy. A boy. eep. He's just so everything that I thought that boys were supposed to be until I started dating. Right now he's just a boy. So I won't jinx it by talking about him too much. He makes me happier than I have been lately. And my god do I want to kiss him.

I still need a vaca. How 'bout it Emmy?

current mood: awake
| disclaimer | 8 tried to | tame me |
Thursday, August 29th, 2002
4:02 am - I've given until I break...
Down but not out, Emmy.
Please forgive me for being MIA these past few days. I slipped into this funk...something that I can't get out of. I feel like home, rest and solitude is the best medicine right now. I hate letting you down like this...but I promise I'll make it up to you.

I don't know what's wrong. Maybe the loneliness got to me. Maybe I just need sleep more than I let on. Either way, I've been in hiding and I'm not sure that I intend on coming out today, tomorrow, or the day after.
I just wanted to poke my head out, glance around at the rest of the world and let anyone who cares know that I am alive. Just dealing with life in private right now.


EDIT: You're very welcome, Leo. The background is fucking beautiful.

current mood: drained
| disclaimer | 4 tried to | tame me |
Thursday, August 22nd, 2002
9:07 pm
Insomnia will surely be the death of me.
I go through stages. Some nights, my bed and I are in beautiful harmony. I climb in and my sheets envelope me like a loving, familiar hug.
Other nights, I'm tossing and turning, thrashing about. My sheets tangled around my waist. The Texas heat, pure and unbridled clinging to me like white on rice. My thoughts keeping my mind all too alert for reasonable sleep. And just as I close my eyes and give in to the urge to slip into another realm....
My frickin' alarm goes off.

After a night like that, my whole day is thrown for a loop. I've been restless and well, bitchy all day. Snapping at people. Not wanting to leave my house (and my god, I really need to do something about the AC- or complete lack thereof.). This is certainly not me. I miss my old self. God, let me be me again. I miss being smitten with life.

Tonight, some of my old friends from school are taking me out. Old friends? Sheesh...I feel like we graduated yesterday. A bunch of them leave for school on Monday and I guess this is my last chance to see a lot of them until Thanksgiving. I reckon I'd better make the most of this opportunity before work picks up again. I am determined to have a great time, age limits be damned. Bar dancing, here I come.

C'mon Kimmie. Chin up kid. Garth is on the radio and fun is gonna be impossible to avoid.

Eh. I guess I'd better go try and get cute. /pointless update

current mood: exanimate
| disclaimer | 2 tried to | tame me |
Wednesday, August 21st, 2002
2:12 pm
Oh man, this heat is getting to me. For a Texan, I sure have a hard time dealing. Meh. I might be a wuss.
Looking forward to this thunderstorm that we're supposedly having later. I remember being terrified of thunder and lightning. I'd crawl into my bed and hide with the dog under the blankets until the storm passed. But now. Now I hear the thunder approaching and I want to be right in the middle of it all. I get the urge to go out onto the porch and just delight in the orgasm for every sensation in my body that is a good old fashioned storm. Nothing makes me frisky like a wonderfully loud storm. All of that power in one place is erotic. Oh yeah, I'm aware of how bizarre that sounds.
*prays for storm*

Today has been another nothing-filled day. I motivated myself and unpacked a few boxes that had still been sitting in the hall. Mostly kitchen stuff that my mom dumped on me in the hopes that I'll learn how to cook and trap myself a man. Here's to hoping, ma...But at the snail pace that I am moving, I will never finish unpacking. There is nothing fun about this. Nothing at all. I think my lack of creativity is hindering my efforts. :)

A friend suggested that I call up my agent and see if he can't fix me up with any unattached boys. I didn't know that I seemed so hard up. My god. Ridiculous.
Anyway. I try not to date models. Strange to discriminate against my own kind, but I want someone who can expand my horizons a bit. Sitting around and talking about whose shoot was more grueling is simply a joke. I feel like I sound trite. And don't get me wrong, I love my job. Sometimes. But at the same time, when I leave my job at the end of the day, I want to leave my job. Rehashing it can get tiresome.

Otay. Gonna go put some more stuff away. If I ever want to rid myself of these boxes, I'd better get cracking.

current mood: calm
| disclaimer | 2 tried to | tame me |
Tuesday, August 20th, 2002
3:26 pm
I always have a ton of things to say...
Until I get to the update page. Then I draw many a blank.

I hate to admit to this, but I've been feeling a tad bit lonely. Not in the sense of feeling like I have no one to call a friend. In the, "I want someone to come home to" sense. Someone who will curl up in bed with me and watch bad television with me until one of us falls asleep. Um, I have my kitty Jez, but yeah, she doesn't count. She always falls asleep first, anyway. :)

My mom keeps reminding me that I'm young. That I have plenty of time to find someone to settle down with. I don't think she understands. I'm not looking for marriage. I'm looking for short term committment. Supposedly, finding someone is the easy part. Whoever said that sure didn't hail from Odessa, I can tell you that much. Finding a decent man here is like finding a penis at a Madeline Albright seminar- not gonna happen.

Meh. I won't think about this anymore. Muy discouraging.

Aside from drowning in my own self-absorbtion, today has been a perfect day. No shoots. No running around doing errands. Just pure, self-indulgent laziness. I could get used to this being on my own thing. I woke up at noon, took a long, relaxing bath and then spent the better part of my day lounging around in my nothing but my skin and a smile. I turned off my ringer and watched soaps until I thought my head would explode from the enjoyable nonsense.

Had some Wendy's and note to self: Oh my god, avoid that Cheddar Lovers' Bacon Cheeseburger like the clap. I thought to myself, "Hey, I love cheddar." and went ahead and had one. Never again. I can feel my arteries clogging and my heart is crying out for help. *shudder* I guess you really have to like cheddar.


emmy thanks for introducing me to so many people. you're like better than Powerpuff Girls and kittens wrapped up together. <3

current mood: ditzy
| disclaimer | 3 tried to | tame me |
Monday, August 19th, 2002
3:06 am - never too late to change...
In an effort to relieve myself of my case of the restlessness, I made a few small changes. As you can see, my journal layout is a bit different now. I can thank the wonderlicious emmanuellec for that. *mwa* darling. You're absolutely precious.

And as for the huge friends list clean up? Well, I guess I've been a little unsure of who my friends are as of late. *shrug* My feelings towards you haven't changed, but I have been feeling a little insecure these days. If I have somehow managed to break any hearts through deletion, let me know. I'll re-add you- no biggie. And if you're actually relieved, just smile. I did you a favor. ;)

*yawn* Big day tomorrow. I guess I'd better trot my little ass off to bed now. Like my mom always says, there is no better beauty trick than getting a good night's sleep.

[translation: As the brand spanking new Kim, I really have no idea what's going on with a lot of you. I just tried to make a few judgement calls. It's hard to come into this thing not knowing who wants to be kept around and who doesn't. Please, if you want me to add you back, speak now or forever hold your peace. And if you want me to take you off, same goes for you. I honestly won't feel bad. I just need to know what to do. Thanks much. :)]

current mood: sleepy
| disclaimer | 2 tried to | tame me |
Saturday, August 17th, 2002
5:54 pm - Hi hi
[ there's a new Kimmie in town folks. please come say hi :) ]

I've been feeling a little restless, lately. I think I'm getting stir crazy here in Odessa. Maybe a trip is in order for Kimmah...? We'll see. sigh. I can't even begin to pick a destination, though. So many places, so little time and all that. Any suggestions?

feeling nostalgic, and ok, flirty ;)Collapse )

current mood: geeky
| disclaimer | 5 tried to | tame me |
Saturday, August 10th, 2002
3:11 am - it always seems those little things they take the biggest part of me
{This is likely going to be long, drawn-out, and somewhat unneccessary but remember, you can always scroll.

I've contemplated giving Kim up in the past, and decided against it because she really has some potential. She was the first character I'd ever had, my first jump into the world of RPG. I really only picked her up because I wanted to take part in something that would let me get away from everyday life. However, since I'm about to go back to school and I plan on working my ass off this year, I think the smartest thing to do would be to give Kim up to someone new.

Another thing...I find myself hiding behind my now numerous characters -- not only with Kim in this community, but in the UJournal community as well. I know that Kim is a wonderful talent in real life, but I feel like I'm being unfair to anyone who wanted to play her who might be a bigger fan than I am, or even just someone who is like I started out to be..just a nobody who wants to become a somebody, just for a little while.

If you're reading this and you interact with me in the UJournal community, you have nothing to worry about there. I'm going to at least attempt to keep those characters up as long as I can, because I'm bigger fans of them than I am of Kim. I'm not saying I'll never put one of them up for adoption, chances are I'm going to end up with just one or two as the school year goes on.

Most of the people who made an effort to include me in this have either stopped trying or deleted, and I just don't have the time anymore to try to make her fit into this world. Frankly, I'm beginning to realize how many cliques and circles have formed, and comfort zones within them. Why should any of you care if your character is friends with mine or not? You're going to give them up pretty soon anyway. You know that's the truth. Either you'll grow out of it, or you'll get sick of it, or maybe, just maybe, one day you'll wake up and realize it's just proving your insecurities to you more and more every day. This game has no effect on the rest of our lives, besides using internet time and keeping us away from the real relationships that are everywhere around us all.

I want to be happy, I want to have friends, and I want my life back. I used to write, and now every time I start typing I find nothing but lies coming out, and I think that has something to do with sitting here all day, pretending that I'm something I'm not. My mother, honestly one of my best friends in the world, can't stand to talk to me anymore because all I ever want to do is the internet. There's so much more I could see, and experience. But the internet is my shield. I justify my time by saying the world is headed for technology, and I'm getting a jump start. I just happen to be losing everything I know is real in the process.

RPG is not the root of all evil. I really like it, and it's great. I just think it's better for me to not do it here anymore. I was pretty much addicted to the internet before I started this, and this is just prolonging it all. I found myself in my room RPing on UJournal while one of my best friends, who I hadn't seen in over a year, was alone in my living room watching a movie. I sat here and asked myself what the fuck I was doing, why I wasn't in there catching up and hanging out, trying to hold on to one of the only real friends I've known, one of the good ones. The ones who don't stab you, in the back or otherwise.

I've let this go too far, and used space here that would be better taken in my real journal. I hope you don't let your RPing do to you what it's done to me lately.

Believe it or not, I may want Kim back after all this shit I've said. So don't be suprised if I come back in a few weeks, or months, or whatever. Sixteen-year-olds can be fickle sometimes, learn that and remember it.

If you want to keep in touch with me or anything, which I doubt any of you do besides Laur, leave a comment and some kind of screen name, and I'll give you my stuff whenever I get the chance.]

current mood: aggravated
| disclaimer | 7 tried to | tame me |
Wednesday, July 24th, 2002
2:40 pm
Call off the funerals, because I'm still alive. I've just been hella busy for the past...well, however long.

My cousin had a baby girl a few weeks ago, so I've been taking care of her a lot. The baby's name is Jordan and she's the cutest thing I've seen, as far as babies go. She lives just down the street from me. When I'm not over there, I'm with Rider, or we're both with my friends.

He's actually taken pretty well to my guy friends -- he didn't get all territorial or anything. I'm glad he's got faith in me and trusts that I mean what I say when I say they're just my friends. They're seriously like my brothers, I could never do anything with them. But Rider's almost like part of the group now. It's kind of funny.

Anyway, I should be back now, or at least I hope. I need some new prettiful icons, and maybe even a new layout. Who knows what I'll do with all this time I have. Yeah, right. But if you get bored, any of you, feel free to make me some.

EDIT: It's just now coming to my attention how much I've missed. Happy birthday to everyone I love who had one I couldn't be there for, and congratulations to the happy couples, and I guess all I can say is I'm so sorry for not being around like I should have been. I love you all!

current mood: accomplished
| disclaimer | 9 tried to | tame me |
Sunday, July 14th, 2002
10:02 pm - Yes, please do.
| disclaimer | 7 tried to | tame me |
Tuesday, July 2nd, 2002
5:01 pm
[I've decided not to give up on Kim. Thankyouverymuchplease.]

I think I'm turning into a brunette version of Martha Stewart. I'm decorating like crazy. Of course, it could just be all the Trading Spaces I've watched.

I think I need a vacation. Any ideas? I was thinking the Virgin Islands..I really liked going there. Of course, it was for Maxim, my favorite photo shoot so far, but that's only part of it.

I love everyone. Yeah, even you.

current mood: cheerful
| disclaimer | 2 tried to | tame me |
Sunday, June 30th, 2002
4:19 pm
OOC postCollapse )
| disclaimer | 14 tried to | tame me |
Thursday, June 20th, 2002
4:31 pm
this is for gina_philips.


someone tell me what is wrong with rider. it's driving me insane.

anyone want to help me with a layout like gina's or matt's or joy's or sami's? please don't make me grovel.

current mood: aggravated
| disclaimer | 2 tried to | tame me |
Wednesday, June 19th, 2002
8:45 pm
Something is wrong with my boyfriend I think.

Anyone miss me? Probably not, but that's alright, I missed me for you.

One liners suck a whole lot, but I can't think of anything else to say, really, besides I love soleilmoon_frye more than any of you do.
| disclaimer | 2 tried to | tame me |
Thursday, June 13th, 2002
4:45 am
Wish I could hold you
Just for a little while, let me
I wish I could see you right now
But you're so far away
It's driving me crazy
I'm missing you baby
And the way you touch me
It's not like anything I've ever felt before
That's how I know I am yours

Now is the time to
Relax your mind
Let go and unwind
I've waited for too long, I'm ready
Tonight's the night
For loving you right
You know what I wanna do
I wanna give in to you

Really miss you baby
And ways you touch me
Now I can hardly wait
'Til you touch me
How I want you so
Thoughts of you make me lose control
Soon as I see you baby
I'm gonna ask you for sure
Could you please touch me?

I'll probably be home around 5 PM today, unless I fall asleep on the plane and they fly somewhere else without realizing I'm still on it. That'd call for some serious impromptu skydiving. Yeah, it's about time for me to go to sleep. Oh, and Rider, don't think too much of those lyrics. Unless of course..you want to. I blame insomnia and loneliness. They made me do it, I tell you!

Joy, thanks for inviting me in the chat earlier, I intended to stay but was ambushed by storms and then scandisk decided it was time for a 3 hour surface check. :/

I found the most kickass stuff in a box today. I've got to get some more when I get home..it took me about three hours to finish the box.

current mood: anxious
| disclaimer | 6 tried to | tame me |
Tuesday, June 11th, 2002
5:23 pm
Oh geez. Chats are so much fun when you're away from home. I REALLY didn't want to leave this morning but I had to. Anyway.

These are for alex_solowitz:

And just because I love alessandra_a:

And come ON, how could I make icons without doing some of rider_strong?

I don't expect any of you will use those, but my plane rider was filled with lovely icon action.

Moo, will someone buy me a paid account?

BIG FAT EDIT SO YOU DON'T SKIP COMMENTING ON THIS ENTRY HINT HINT:I just wanna say that being away from Rider really fucking sucks. I've realized that within the past 24 hours, somewhere between the silence of the plane ride and trying to sleep without him nearby. I don't feel right, no matter how strange that sounds.

go support bebo_norman. just go to his journal, even if you don't know him or have any clue in hell who he is. for that matter, download his music. buy it. learn it. love it. all of you, be grateful you haven't lived what he has.

current mood: artistic
| disclaimer | 7 tried to | tame me |
Monday, June 10th, 2002
6:01 pm
My agent called and I've got things to do this week in the way of photo shoots and promotion and things like that. I'm leaving tomorrow morning and I'll be back by Thursday. Rider's staying over at my house while I'm gone, I'm trusting him not to mess things up too badly. And yes, I WILL miss you Rider. Whether you like it or not.

Dani seems really upset. It must have been a huge blow for everything to end like that. I mean, they seemed so happy, like nothing at all could come between them. I'm here for you.

Lila seems a bit happier about things lately, I'm glad for that. :D I hope things will actually work out this time and not kick her in the ass like they have been doing.

Go plant a big kiss on soleilmoon_frye and ledger.

current mood: indescribable
| disclaimer | 24 tried to | tame me |
Thursday, June 6th, 2002
9:12 pm - So...sleepy..
Everyone go shout out to one of my favorite people, bebo_norman! He's really sweet and he's one of the best songwriters I know. I had the honor of seeing him perform with Third Day and Paul Coleman Trio a while ago, he did an incredible acoustic set that I'll never forget.

Today I painted the sunroom with Rider. We had a lot of fun flinging paint around and just having fun in general. It actually looks okay, although I don't think I would hire us to decorate..LOL. It was a lot of fun, anyway.

Meg's still here, but she's laying low. I wish she'd come out of hiding...I think she came out sometime last night and stole some cookies and milk. Meg, what's going on? You're turning into a shadow-dweller! I miss you.

current mood: contemplative
| disclaimer | 8 tried to | tame me |
1:05 am - heh.
i want to make it clear that rider_strong is really sexy. yeah, rider, you heard me..even when you're not in your peter pan outfit or sliding down poles for me, you're still the only person i want to be with.

okay, all cheesiness aside, i'm really happy he's here. he's sleeping in the room next to mine, which can be distracting when you're trying to fall asleep. it's nerve-wracking when i can't find him in this ridiculous house..most of you know that happens a lot.

today's joy's birthday! i'm giving her this, this, and this (detail here) in hopes that gifts make up for me not being there in person to wish her a happy birthday. i'd have linked to the pages with those on them, but i don't like everyone to know how much i paid for gifts. it's customary for the recipient to not know the price of the gift, is it not?

believe it or not, my feet are cold. how sad is that? it's hot enough to make a pool dry up out there (i should know, i've had to add water two times this week) and i'm sitting in here freezing. hmm...i should go find rider. ;D

survey!Collapse )

current mood: cold
| disclaimer | 3 tried to | tame me |
Tuesday, June 4th, 2002
6:48 pm - Thank God.


I act like I'm 19.
This test was brought to you by David - Part of the David and James phenomenon. Take it here.

| tame me |
Monday, June 3rd, 2002
2:43 am - insomnia is a lifestyle
I can't sleep, and all because of two words.

Rider Strong.

You can't get here fast enough.

Go say hi to christina milian and keanu_r. Cool kids.

current mood: happy
| disclaimer | 2 tried to | tame me |
Sunday, June 2nd, 2002
2:59 am - Open Late

which BAND are you? find

I love Dashboard. And, come to think of it, I love Goodwill as well. You know what? I love the whole damn world right now. Don't wonder why, it's unhealthy and it might hurt your brain, unless you already know why I'm happy, in which case...never mind, I'm rambling again. That usually happens when I get started on that subject.

People need to be online. Not just any people, certain people. Certain people are never online when I want them to be. Maybe that's just my curse. Of course, it could be that it's 3 AM in Texas and everyone in their right mind is asleep, which actually says a lot about me. What's the time difference between here and California again? I always forget.

I think I'm going to make Meg help me paint some room or another tomorrow. That, or I'll make her buy me alcohol to stock up my wet bar. ;D

I think I need some notes. Come on, you know you wanna give me some love.

I made myself some new icons, but since I'm too cheap to buy myself a paid account, I'll post them here.Collapse )
| disclaimer | 10 tried to | tame me |
Saturday, June 1st, 2002
12:46 am - Gah.
I talked with Lila for a while today, it made me feel so much better than I've been feeling. She's amazing, the way she rises above everything that's been happening and just accepting people for who they are and how they really feel, while not hiding her emotions. I really admire you for that, Lila.

Meg, I don't know all the details of some of the problems and issues you've been having, but I'm here if you want to talk. Remember that it's never too late to start over and change things into what you want them to be. You're one of the most inspiring people I have ever known, and I mean that. The way you handle yourself despite all your shortcomings (and you're the first to point them out) is incredible.

I figured out what's been keeping me down..it's about a boy. It doesn't make sense why I feel the way I do, because I never thought that I could fall for someone who didn't treat me a certain way. Everything I know about this person is different than what I've always thought I wanted, but suddenly my thoughts are taken over by him. I can't do anything without thinking about him. Before I get too into the details, I'm going to stop thinking about what i'm writing and just give you this...

survey i swiped from megCollapse )

current mood: nervous
| disclaimer | 10 tried to | tame me |
Monday, May 27th, 2002
5:31 pm - EEP
Well, Meg and I are off to visit Rider in Cali today because he said he was lonely. I'm getting my stuff for the movie awards together. Uh, that's almost it. My house is pulling itself together, I suppose..it looks alright, actually. I'm gonna go..


[OOC: I won't be online from Tuesday-Friday, I'll be out of town with no internet access.]
| disclaimer | 4 tried to | tame me |
Friday, May 24th, 2002
8:03 pm
What...Rider's in the hos..pi..tal...he has been for 2 days. Dani's finding out the room and all, and then me, Meg, and Chris are going over there to crash his party. With many, many twinkies and ding-dongs. That is an honor, sir..one of the highest. Get better, man.
| disclaimer | 3 tried to | tame me |
4:55 pm - Mashed potatoes and a spoon.
Lik and I are going shopping today to buy her 50 outfits..I'm happy. Okay, here it comes.

megan_ewing ROCKS THE SHIT!

She and I go way, way back. We've got the same manager, same home state, same campaigns, and she's only like, a few months younger than me. Heck, we may as well be twins or something. Just go say hi, alright? By the way, Meg, you wanna come to Odessa? Lila will be here for a few more days, but I've got extra space, you could come and stay and we'd still have enough house to shelter half the city. LOL. Let me know.

Rider needs to get well. I've got nobody to pick on. :( Maybe I should send him a present or call him or something. Hmm, there is always that nice, mysterious picture of mine..JUST KIDDING.


current mood: excited
| disclaimer | 6 tried to | tame me |
Thursday, May 23rd, 2002
5:46 pm
I got a new screen name.

that guess girl

Somebody talk to me, quick, before i go insane..just..kidding..

So apparently the episode of "Now What?" that I guest-starred on aired this afternoon. If anybody besides me saw it, let me know how you think I did.

I went shopping in LA day before yesterday and got lots of cute outfits. if you want to see, or even if you don't:

outfit #1 - Light blue tube top, light blue/blue flowered skirt, and wooden sandals.

outfit #2 - lace-up white/pink T-shirt, patchy jeans, pink/gold/white sneakers.

outfit #3 - lace-up pink shirt, jeans, tan leather boots, pink/coral/white/tan purse.

outfit #4 - white/turquoise halter top, white highwaters, turquoise leather platform sandals, turquoise/clear sunglasses, silver/turquoise bracelet and necklace.

outfit #5 - turquoise/white/blue/light blue flowered spaghetti strap, lace-up white shorts, turquoise flip-flops.

To top it off, my stuff is in my house, Lila's here for a few days (How long do you want to stay, Lik?), and I'm taking her to the Galleria in Dallas one day this week or next. All in all, Kim should be considered a happy girl.

Geeze, my life is not that interesting lately. I'm sorry for the pointless updates, but I feel the need, for some reason, to let you all know I'm still alive and I love you.


EDIT: everyone say hi to alessandra_a, she has a journal. Welcome, fellow GUESS? girl. :cracks up:

current mood: accomplished
| disclaimer | 13 tried to | tame me |
Tuesday, May 21st, 2002
2:28 am
I'm horrible to my Rider, though he's not really mine. LOL. Aww, and now he might have a stomach virus. Damnit, now I feel like crap.

it was fun, i have to say..Collapse )

current mood: frustrated
| disclaimer | 10 tried to | tame me |
Monday, May 20th, 2002
9:12 pm - AHH.
I signed all the contracts last night and now I own a house. I think the decorator my parents tried to hire smoked herself retarded...I don't like much of how it is, so my lovely friends are going to come out and help me when they can, yes? Well, disgusting decor and all, you can now see my house. Yahoo. I'm going to have a housewarming and all pretty soon, so just leave a note if you wanna come, even if I don't know you all that well. It will be a blast.

Lik is sad, and this makes Kim sad. I'm about to break out the disgruntled cowboys. LOL. I talked to her last night, and told her things I didn't know were going through my head about how I hate modeling sometimes. All people see most of the time is that I'm pretty, they don't bother to get to know me. And they assume that since I'm in lingerie ads a lot (like every issue according to Rider), I must be a slut. But you know what? I'm not. I'm a huge flirt, yes, but I do that to avoid really caring about anybody because I'm afraid it isn't real. It's cheesy, but I told Lik that I want someone to be my shooting star, even just for a little while. I want something real.

Road trip got cancelled, so I may just run back out to Texas and start getting things settled, I don't know yet. I just don't wanna go alone, I am so tired of being alone all the time. Somebody wanna volunteer to come back with me?

Okay, okay, no more whining. Sorry. I just really needed to say that. After I move in, people need to stay with me a lot so I don't get lonely in that huge new house. Pool parties abound this summer, make no mistake about that.

Leave me notes? I like those a lot. They make me feel loved. :D



current mood: blank
| disclaimer | 17 tried to | tame me |
Sunday, May 19th, 2002
9:29 pm
:stares at the buck naked arson website: ooo, rider porn. that's bad. :averts eyes:

i bought everyone who came hats. i'll put 'em on a cut tag.

i decided on a house..it's nearly built. they're going to finish it up and furnish it while i'm on the road trip.

so, it's back to Cali tomorrow with everybody. Thanks for helping me find a house, guys! It was loads of fun.


current mood: accomplished
| disclaimer | 8 tried to | tame me |
2:25 pm
Just especially for those who find it necessary to tease me about nsync videos (coughMANDAcough):

rider_strong is basically dead from hangover..poor kid. :pets: Everybody else seems to be okay, I know I am because I only had time to have 2 hard lemonades. I gotta apologize to matt_lawrence for stealiing his Dani away for a full 24 hours. I wish you could have known about it sooner, but you can come out to decorate and stuff. :D


current mood: amused
| disclaimer | 9 tried to | tame me |
2:45 am
yay! danielle_raabe, rider_strong, amanda_marshall, and lila_mccann are flying out to Odessa tomorrow to help me house hunt! This is going to be fun.

I'm really excited about ryan_merriman_'s road trip. i think it's a good chance to get to know everybody a bit better.

Leave me posty things. :BIG SMILE:

| disclaimer | 24 tried to | tame me |
Saturday, May 18th, 2002
4:10 pm
I'm moving out of my parents' house soon. I'm still only 17, but they think I'm ready, and I know I feel ready. Anyone want to come to Odessa to help me house hunt? It could be fun.

I might go with Ryan on his road trip later in the week, I dunno yet.

Matt thinks I'm hot and that makes me feel loved already. Speaking of hot, the Victoria's Secret pictures are here..

think i'm sexy?Collapse )

current mood: silly
| disclaimer | 6 tried to | tame me |
3:18 pm
Everybody's been SO nice to me. Thanks!!

patrick: hey spongebob, guess what i am?
spongebob: uhh, stupid?
patrick: no, i'm texas!!
spongebob: what's the difference?

...i don't know why i find that funny, maybe i should be insulted.

current mood: awake
| disclaimer | 2 tried to | tame me |
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