Kim (kimsmith) wrote,

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le sigh

So the guy that I didn't want to talk about for fear of jinxing?
Um hi. He likes me.
This all makes me feel like a 15 year old girl, all high from her very first kiss. I'm sure that I am reacting in an overly silly way. Screw it. I like it. I love it. I want to float like this forever. I'm on a crush injected cloud with not a silver but a gold lining and living here would be perfection.
We talk on the phone for hours about nothing. He's like a best girlfriend except not. Neither of us sleep anymore because we spend those wee hours where I'm usually curled up in bed with my kitty, together. Just making memories.
We're not even a couple. I'm just talking like we are. Just letting things follow nature's intended course. I don't want to be pushy. Right now we're just friends or maybe a little something more. Friends who kiss. A lot. And while we're talking about it, he just might be the best kisser in the whole wide world. Eek. I am being SUCH a girl.
And I have convinced him to come out and play. Remember when you were in junior high? And you'd steal moments under the bleachers after a school dance and it was a huge deal? Or when you found yourself at someone's house alone, on the couch nervously watching tv? Then the girl would turn to the boy with a mischievous gleam in her eye and whisper, "My mom won't be home for an hour. Wanna make out?" And that was simultaneously naughty and the greatest feeling on the planet? Hrm, maybe that was just me. :D
Anyway. He's coming over and it feels like that. I feel excited and giddy and nervous all at the same time and sigh.
I'll stop. No one wants to hear me blabber like a schoolgirl. Heck, I don't even wanna hear it. Besides. Like I said; no jinxing!

Work has got me tired like nothing else. Don't make fun. There is nothing glamorous about a photo shoot. People shouting at you from every direction. Pretentious photographers telling you crap like, "Make love to the camera. You are sex...yes you are sex! No, not like that! Pout for me are like a wonton woman begging for it..." Okay so I made up that last one. But you get the point.
Sucking in this, tucking that. Taping here, putting powder there. Unnatural poses. Circulation being cut off. Being told that you're beautiful and blessed only to have it all airbrushed away. I feel like a My Size Barbie sometimes. It really can be degrading.
But somehow I like my job. I must be some kind of masochist.
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